she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
