Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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