Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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