if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
