I wish I could punch you in the face.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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