Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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