yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
