Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
