unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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