just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
