Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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