I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
