I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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