The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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