i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
