Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
