I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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