I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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