I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
