there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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