i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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