So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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