Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
