I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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