so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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