Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
