Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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