Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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