My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
