Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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