Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Say something about gay babies.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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