Will you blow on my dice?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
