yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Bring me that man meat
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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