based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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