So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
