somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize