He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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