Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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