he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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