last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
