I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
