Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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