I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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