oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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