Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
