What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
