The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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