In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
