My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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