So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
