You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
